Gone Too Soon

These last few days, were the days I found not-easy to live in. 
I was still mourning and grieving. 
I lost a part of me. I lost my 8-week-growing baby inside me.

Some say,
"Life must go on, Dear.
Keep your head up.
So many things to do.
So many things await you."

I know. I know.
But my minds and my heart seemed cannot function well together.

I just felt so weak.
I wanted to do nothing but weeping.
I felt so lost and brokenhearted.
I need a bandage to heal the cuts. 
My heart ache, feels like cuts deep down inside.
 I'm not ready for this. 

I was ready to welcome our third baby.

My body knew it. It changed. It welcomed our baby. 

And I did too. We all did.

I have loved our baby, the first time I read the testpack.

I have loved our baby even I hadn't feel it moved nor kick.

I sang to our baby,
talked to our baby when I laid, walked, sat and sew.

I was more than ready to set our baby's room
and plan that him/her was going to join our homeschool days.

But, I was never ready to hear that there's no more heartbeat.

I was not ready at all. 

You just gone too soon, Little One.
Gone too soon.